Broken Minds
by Sawamura1
Summary: Rin was a recovered cutter but his returned to his old habits, who can save him before he self destructs again? Trigger Warning for Self Harm, please be mindful if you continue to read. This is a bit OC and will get darker as the story progresses, please review I'm happy to take suggestions as well :)
1. Chapter 1

The cold metal bit at my chest, hissing and burning in reaction to the contact. Blood wells up to the surface and I breathe a sigh of relief, the tension suddenly leaves my body and I can breathe normally again. I place the Holy Blade back into my wallet and shove it deep into my jeans pocket. You see, normal blades don't damage my skin as bad as one that is soaked in holy water does. The holy water blade leaves a faint scar after cutting and does far more damage when compared to a normal blade. if I used a normal blade, my skin would heal the cut right up, before it even had a chance to bleed, leaving no trace or damage. When I first starting cutting I used the latter option as it allowed me to be discreet, after a while it wasn't enough I wanted more.

More pain.

More Blood.

More Feeling.

The only thing in the world that I wanted was to feel something.

My brother found out about my nasty habit after I got carried away using my kurikara as my weapon of choice against myself. He told my classmates to watch me, even though they didn't care in the first damn place, and he and mephisto, forced me to see a therapist, reluctantly, I obliged ( not that I had a choice since mephisto was involved) and attended fortnightly sessions. However according to everyone, Yukio and my therapist included, I kicked the habit about a year ago, I was cutting in secret again. Here I am in the abandon boys dorm bathroom reveling in the sensation of seeing the demon blood seep from my skin. I got this blade in secret after about a year and a half after my therapy sessions first began. Its nearly 3 years old now but I can trust it to get the job done, its also small enough to fit in my wallet, my favorite choice of hiding spots. I was meant to be getting ready for a mission, hence why Yukio let me get ready on my own, I realize he's probably catching on that I'm doing something. I pull on a black t-shirt and make sure the blood is clotted, thanks to the demon healing it clots a lot faster than a normal persons. I walk out and meet my brother downstairs.

"I'll just get our lunches from the fridge" I call out over my shoulder to Yukio, I get a "unhn" from my younger brother as a response. I collected said lunch from the fridge and Yukio used the portal key to meet my cram school classmates and mephisto at our classroom. I get my emotions in check, putting my usual happy grin on as I step though the magical doorway.

'Hey Guys, Who's keen for the mission?" I said in my usual happy tone.

"You'd probably kill us with your flame" konekomaru said under his breath. He never really cared about me self-harming and still wants me dead for the whole blue night thing, which I had nothing to do with. My asshole father Satan did that, not me, yet he somehow felt I was responsible. Bon nudged Konekomaru in response to his statement. I pretended I didn't hear it, though its really hard with my demon hearing and all.

Mephisto spoke up, " now that we're all here, I'll explain the mission"

"You'll be facing mid-class demons that have the potential to get into your heads and project your deepest darkest thoughts into a projection in order to scare you into falling into its control, whatever you do, keep a level head and your fears locked up, don't allow them to see into your head…" Mephisto looked at me briefly and continued "no matter what." He concluded.

Yukio spoke up "Here's a list of spells that will combat these demons specifically" At this point I stop listening and get lost in my own head. What if the demons know I've been cutting, worse what if they project my thoughts for everyone to see, that won't be good, I'll be caught out. I thought to myself.

'Rin….Rin' Yukio yelled, pulling me out of my head. " Go and get ready with the others and please at least try to memorize the spells I taught you"

"Yes Teach" I responded as excitedly as I could. I proceeded to walk over to bon, who's really been the only one there for me during this whole ordeal. He checks up on me everyday and of course I lie but it's the thought that counts. Right?

I noticed Yukio talking with Mephisto in hushed tones, they look over to me occasionally and using my demon hearing I listen in whilst packing my things.

"Are you sure this is a good idea Mephisto, what if something happens, you know he isn't mentally strong like the others"

"The Vatican wants to test him, I have no choice, besides this'll be fun" he chuckles.

Great I thought to myself, no one trusts me anymore.

Turning back to speak to the group Mephisto says "Ready or not here we go, Eins, Zwei, Drie!" and in a puff of smoke ,we're transported to the mission location. Mephisto disappears, leaving Yukio and my classmates alone in a dark looking room. This can't be good, I thought to myself.


	2. Chapter 2

The darkness around us envelopes us all, getting worse as we search through each of the rooms, Bon suggests to Yukio that we split up, he agrees and soon we're paired off. Konekomaru and Shima, Shemi and Yukio, Izumo and Paku and Bon and myself. I can't say I'm too thrilled with the pairings but it'd be pointless if I argued. We go our separate ways in order to find and kill the mid-level demons as fast as we can.

So far myself and Bon have been though 5 rooms and have found nothing. Conversation between us was very little and rarely strayed from commenting on the here and now of the situation. We go to enter the 6th room and as soon as we enter there is something off, there is a faint laughter that almost sounds like a child.

"Do you hear that?" I ask bon quietly

"hear what, the silence is deafening to me" Bon replied.

This can't be good I think.

"You're finally here, you took your time Rin" the husky male voice came from the darkness but I can't see anything its just too dark to see a damn thing.

"who are you and how do you know my name?" I bit back

"Rin, who're you talking to" Bon said on edge, he sounds worried.

"I am you and you are me, its been a long time since we've spoken" the voice quizzically replied.

"what the hell are you on about?!" I replied. I feel my eyes widen as I come to the realization of what I'm hearing, "E-E-Ethan" I managed to stutter.

I think back to my days when I first started self-harming, I was always harassed by voices but since therapy started I was able to control them…keep them at bay somehow.

"ahaha you finally remember me, you have always been an slow in the brain department"

"Shit. Shit. Shit" I curse. This can't be happening. Out of any possible time you choose now.

"Who's Ethan and who the hell are you talking to? Is it another demon? Where is it?" Bon said frantically.

"He's no one" I said probably sounding more defensive than I'd have liked to.

"Awww Rin that's hurtful, I exist you know" He said, sarcasm dripping from every word.

I know by now to ignore them but its really hard.

Bon caught me off guard "Rin! 6'oclock 2 demons!" They look small, almost monkey like emitting a faint purple glow around their bodies. Come to think of it they kind've look like ukobach but covered in dead skin and god they smelled foul, they have sharp canines, like mine, but smaller. They run around, talking to each other. They disappear suddenly another voice makes itself known.

"Rin…poor Rin. You should've killed yourself before you nearly killed and scared the shit out of your 'friends'"

"Shut Up! You don't know anything" I yelled, now I'm starting to get pissed off. Bon grabbed be by my shirt and shoved me against a wall. My back hit it so hard my tail got caught, causing me to yelp in pain.

"Rin! Listen to me! You've got to stop this, no one is saying anything. Focus on the demons that are here right now!" Bon basically yelled in my face.

"Okay, Okay Just don't hurt my tail again. Its 100 times worse than getting kicked in the nuts"

"Rin, you should probably listen to your friend here you little shit, you don't need them to know how crazy you really are." The second voice said.

I see the expression on Bon's face change from angry to one of confusion but only for a moment, he regained his composure and turned his attention to the other side of the room. _He heard it!?_ I thought. He must've. I follow his gaze and we see a dark figure. He's tall and has a blue aroura that makes him seem like he's glowing. He's also wearing a black hoodie with a purple trim and dark, baggy jeans. He's face is more interesting He's got a strong chiseled jawline and long messy black hair similar to my own with a large scar running diagonally across his face.

 _This can't be good, we have to get out of here,_ I thought.

"Wish you were back in your bathroom cutting I guess. Since you scared of all your so called 'friends'" He said, his voice sounds like he's spitting out venom.

Bon's grip on my shirt loosens and I see his eyes widen, "I thought you stopped that Rin" Bon said sympathetically.

"He doesn't want your sympathy! He knows- We know that none one cares for him, Isn't that right Rin?" The man said before I even had a chance to defend the statement made by the man.

"He's lying! I don't even know who he is!" I yelled back making my defence heard.

I break the loose hold that Bon had on my shirt and ran towards the figure, drawing my kurikara, letting the blue flames envelope me and lights up the room. I swing my blade at the figure but it just goes right through it, the man disappearing from before me. A woman appears in the other corner of the room, near Bon, She has a long purple dress with long curly brown hair. "You should've already been dead, at the camp and the Vatican execution they should've killed you already. You want to die so badly, Right?" The woman said is a simple mono-tonal voice that's almost mocking this whole situation.

This time Bon makes a move to strike but again, the figure disappears from before him. Then voices all around us start to rise from whispers.

"No one cares for you"

"They all hate you "

"Stress relief, cut yourself, take the pills"

A scene appears in front of me in a haze of smoke and I can just make out what is. It's me sitting on the roof with my kurikara preparing to slice my abdomen open, mt suicide/self harm attempt that got me that I got caught by Yukio. The haze fades into something else, It's me standing up on one of the skyscrapers in true cross town, I jump and Mephisto poofs and 'saves the day'. Bon breaks me from my trance by starting a chant.

"In the name of the father son and holy spirit, I condemn thee to return to the depths of Gehenna and not trick those with holy hearts again"

The scene before me fades away and I hear the screams of one of the little demons from earlier.

Bon angrily makes his way towards me "What the hell was that" He approaches me and shoves me to the ground" He says through gritted teeth.

"I-I-I don't know" I manager to stammer out.


	3. Chapter 3

"You told me that your weren't doing that anymore" He said, sounding even angrier.

"I'm not. They're demons , they lie. Besides they were just projections from the past." I say in defense.  
"Really? I don't believe you for a second… show me your chest" Bon said slightly calmer this time.

"No" I bit back. Rising to my feet I shift my gaze toward Bon. He looked unhappy.

"Show. Me. Your. Chest" He said coming closer toward me.

 **Show him Rin. Show him what a coward you really are**

"No" I said standing my ground. I shake my head to get the voice out **Uh-UH try again.**

Bon grabbed at my shirt and I pushed him away. He went to grab it again. "No" I yell as I pushed him to the ground. Yukio and Shiemi burst into the room. "Is everything alright we heard screaming" Yukio said.

Bon and I both stood up straight and said in unison "Everything's okay" "We just killed 2 demons" Bon continued.

"Great work" Yukio praised. "The others are waiting outside so lets go meet up with them."

 **Don't falter, they'll know. You screwed up dipshit. Keep lying to us and you'll be in for it.**

We walked through the building cascading down the staircases until we reach the lobby. From there we saw the others. "Hey guys! How'd the mission go?" Everyone was talking amongst themselves and Paku was the only one to respond. "yeah we killed a couple of demons, you guys killed 2 as well right?" Everyone hushed as Yukio cleared his throat. "Okay everyone, listen up!, The mission was a success with a total of 7 demons being killed and no injuries or casualties. Congratulations. We're going to head back to the classroom and from there you can go back to your dorms." He concluded Yukio grabbed the keys from his belt and opened up the portal to the classroom and we all stepped through. Everyone started to say their goodbyes and I jumped out the window and ran off to the abandoned boys dorm but not before I noticed Bon talking to Yukio. _Shit, this can be happening._ I started running even faster, eager to feel the sensation I so desperately crave. I reach the dorm and run into the upstairs bathroom and pull out my wallet. I took off my shirt and take in the war scene that is all the crisscrossing scars on my chest. I sink the blade deep into my chest without a second thought and make the all too familiar slicing motion on my chest. Blood welts up from the wound and I breathe a sigh of relief I want to do it again but I hear Yukio walk in the front door, thank god for my demon hearing otherwise I'd be caught out. I wash down my chest and watch it heal. I put my shirt back on and head to our room, moments before Yukio walks in.

"Hey Rin, Bon told me about the mission, he's really concerned and so am I. So please be honest with me. Are you cutting again?" Yuko said. Dread washes over me as I fumble to think of an answer.


End file.
